Law and The One Night Stand Diasaster
by Nyx Penderghast
Summary: Trafalgar Law was grateful, he could always count on his sister to pull him out of sticky situations. Crack fic.


Law and the One Night Stand Disaster

* * *

A/N: Just a quick humorous one-shot I thought of that involves Law getting in trouble and his older sister swooping in to rescue him. With a cameo from my OC, Penderghast Nyx.

**Disclaimer:** If I did own One Piece, you would see Law having multiple one night stands, sadly I do not; One Piece belongs to the wonderful, Eiichiro Oda, only the following OCs belong to me.

* * *

Trafalgar Law was said to be a man who was stern, patient and "a fucker with a stick up his arse" (according to his crewmates).

He was always seen with a serious, calculating look.

It was clear in the stiff way he walked, passive stare, and every fuzzy hat he owned.

But last night was different.

Law was somehow roped into a night out with Penguin and Shachi.

Deciding their captain needed to loosen up (and get laid), they decided to spend their evening at a club.

Now, Law wasn't really one to drink, he just preferred to watch from the shadows, and occasionally take some pictures of a drunk Penguin and Shachi (blackmail, duh).

But that day had been particularly rough on him, so he decided he needed a little pick-me-up, and before he knew it, the captain was drunk and acting very undignified.

Which would explain why he woke up on a rather soft bed with a pounding headache and in the warm embrace of a-.

Law immediately fumbled out of the sheets, and landed ungracefully on his very naked bottom.

Wait, what? Naked?

Law groaned as he began to piece together the memories from last night.

Law plus alcohol plus club equals one night stand.

Now the only thing Law was still confused about was who had he slept with?

As if on cue, the person on the bed began to twist, and turn and eventually awaken.

Law breathed a sigh of relief upon discovering the mystery person was a girl.

He would never hear the end of it from his crewmates if he went home with a guy.

The girl had long, wavy, strawberry-blonde hair, emerald green eyes, an oval shaped face that was decorated with freckles, and ivory skin. She was overall very pretty, Law admitted.

"Last night was so fun!" the girl said happily.

Law smiled, uncomfortably. Great, he met the girl, now to get the fuck out and never run into her again. Law paused in the middle of his thoughts, he just realized he had no idea where he was.

"So...where are we?" Law mentally smacked himself, that wasn't smooth at all.

The girl giggled, oozing happiness and sparkles, "At my palace."

Law gulped. That's just great, he was at her place, a fucking palace, and not some hotel he could easily zap himself out of.

"So, what do you say we grab ourselves some breakfast, future-husband?" the girl asked, smiling sweetly.

Law then knew he was in _deep shit._

* * *

Trafalgar Rin, was the polar opposite of her younger brother, Trafalgar Law.

Although they shared the same looks, raven-colored hair, tanned skin, and golden eyes, they were just so different, one would wonder how they were related.

Rin was an overdramatic, foul mouthed, mischievous Marine Captain.

She was currently hiding out in a casino, avoiding her duties of capturing pirates and gambling with them instead.

Rin's opponent was an albino girl with silver hair and red eyes, she was Penderghast Nyx, captain of the Luna Pirates.

"Alright final round, you ready?" Rin asked, smirking.

"I'll be damned if I losed to you" Nyx sneered.

Rin put down her final hand, it was a royal flush, Nyx's hand was a straight flush. Rin had won.

"Ugh! Fucking hell!" Nyx looked just about ready to flip over the table.

"Since you gave me an interesting game that I've had in a while, I won't turn you in," Rin assured.

"You say it like I'd let you, but thanks," Nyx acknowledged.

All of a sudden, the casino doors flung open and in walked Marine soldiers, all running towards Nyx.

"We found "Shadow-Jumper" Nyx all thanks to Captain Rin!" a Marine officer shouted.

All of a sudden, Rin reeled over and fell to the ground clutching her stomach moaning loudly.

"A-ah cramps! It hurts!" Rin cried, and then looking up at Nyx, her expression of pain had disappeared and was replaced with a playful wink.

Nyx, getting the hint, winked back and took the initiative to disappear from the Marine soldiers who were now swarming around their fallen captain.

"I-I need chocolate… and some sake" Rin let out another overexaggerated moan of pain as the soldiers dashed all over the casino looking for their captain's requests, not even questioning that someone suffering from cramps was asking for alcohol.

Once she saw Nyx had vanished from sight, Rin abruptly stood up, shaking of her soldier's concerned cries and continued to walk out of the casino claiming she needed to "tend some horses".

Once she stepped outside, Rin began to wander around, when-

"Just leave me alone!"

Rin knew that whiny voice anywhere.

* * *

From the last four hours that Law spent with his one night stand, he's discovered several things:

One, Her name was Deierella Yuki Violette Julianne Sparklyrue (Law just called her Dei for short) and she was a princess and she was every man's dream girl (they kept staring at her as she walked down the street, while glaring at Law), except Law's, that is.

Two, last night, Law had drunkenly proposed to Dei.

Three, Dei talked _a lot_ and her voice got so high and annoying when she talked a lot.

Four, Dei was picky, it took her an hour to change through five outfits, and in the end she picked the first outfit (a pale, pink kimono dress that reached her knees, and straw woven sandals embedded with turquoise stones.

Five, she was clingy as fuck, she wouldn't even let Law go to the restroom by himself, which proved to interfere with most of his escape plans.

And six, Dei wasn't easily persuaded, as she did not believe Law's countless lies of being gay/already in a marriage/having a kid with another woman and basically anything that would get him out of her clutches.

"So, I was thinking for our wedding we should have purple orchids, but then I want a black and white wedding also, so the purple orchids would totally clash! And should we invite our parents? Because my daddy would throw a fit if he knew I was marrying a pirate!" Dei giggled.

Law sighed under his breath, what did he ever do to deserve this torture? Sure he was a pirate, a criminally insane one, at that. But still he didn't do anything so drastically bad to deserve such a severe punishment.

"Oh! I know! We should invite all your crewmates to the wedding!" Dei gasped.

Law was literally so close to bitch slapping the girl. _No, no I can't. I've lasted four hours without slapping her, I could do this. I am Trafalgar "Patient__" Law. I've faced worse situations! This is nothing compared to Vergo's mindless twelve hour pep talks._

"Ohmygosh! How many kids should we have?" Dei cried, her emerald green eyes sparkling an abnormal amount of shine.

_That's it_, Law couldn't do this anymore. That protective wall he had built since he first spent time with Dei had come crumbling down.

"Dei, I've tried being nice, and apparently you can't take a hint, so I'll have to do it bluntly. I don't like you, I don't think I ever will, to be honest. Now, if you could just leave me alone," Law coolly stated, trying to wrench away from her iron grip. Damn the girl was strong for such a petite figure.

"W-what do you mean?" Dei's bottom lip quivered, usually her expression would've melted any criminal heart. But not Law, he was goddamned tired and just wanted to get away from the girl as soon as possible. Finally wrenching free from her grip, Law sighed preparing himself for an onslaught of tears.

"I don't like you, simple as that. And the faster you get this through your head, the faster we could move on with our lives." Law knew he was being harsh but at this point he didn't even care.

"B-but I love you! We slept together! I even went in the restroom with you when you needed to pee!" Dei wailed, drawing unwanted attention from the passing by crowd.

Law's patience was dwindling by the second.

"Just leave me alone!"

Dei was bawling now, while random males passing by began to comfort the crying girl and yellat Law for being an "inconsiderate dick."

"Oi Fuckface! Princess Deieraya Ee-tacky Something-Something Sparkle-shit!"

Law knew that annoying voice anywhere. He fought the urge to facepalm, his day had gone from bad to "worse-fucking-day-of-his-life." His older sister was here and things could either turn out to be very good or very bad.

Dei's face immediately cleared, all remains of tears gone, her face was glowing perfectly.

"Who are you?" Dei asked, lifting up a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

Everyone's attention was now on her. She had tanned skin, golden eyes, and straight black hair that was fastened into a long ponytail. She was dressed in a black, long-sleeved blazer with white stripes and skinny, black pants tucked into black combat boots, with black, leather wrist gloves and on her shoulders perched a Marine coat.

"Marine Captain, "Calamity Storm" Trafalgar Rin," Rin began, as the crowd began to look at Rin, awestrucked,"Douse yourself in water and repent, motherfucking heathens!"

Upon finishing her catch-phrase, Rin struck a pose. She had tossed her hair over her shoulder and pointed at Dei with her index finger and was looking Dei with a glare that was usually regarded for ants that found their way to a picnic basket, all while standing with her weight shifted to her right leg, with her hips jutted out to the right.

Law sighed, leave it to his sister to make everything so much more dramatic than it already was.

The crowd watching began to mutter amongst themselves.

"_Did she just say she was a Trafalgar?"_

"_But isn't Trafalgar a pirate?"_

___"They look so alike, now that I think about it!"_

"_Don't tell me, they're related! Marine and Pirate siblings!"_

_"She's so hot and epic looking!"_

"_Amazing!"_

Dei glared back, "What do you want can't you see my fiancé and I are discussing something important?"

"No, we are not. We just finished. It's over." Law stated bluntly.

All of a sudden, Dei growled animalistically, while maintaining that cute-girl-look (_A/N: How does one do that you ask? I don't even know_),

"No. It is _not _over. It isn't till I said it is!"

Rin let out a low whistle, "You tangled with a pretty nasty one, Law."

"Shut up, Rin. I was drunk.."

Dei glared at Rin, "You, stay out of this! I don't care if you're his sister, Law is _mine_!"

Rin wrinkled her nose in dismay,"I'm not one to follow orders from someone with such a ridiculously horrible name. Were your parents on crack when they named you? Seriously!"

"You bitch! Are you saying you don't like my name?" Dei gasped, as if nobody's ever told her that.

"No, my ears just happen to bleed whenever I hear it," Rin rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Whatever," the princess huffs, "Law is still mine and we are getting married at a black and white wedding, he proposed last night!"

_"What? Trafalgar Law proposed to a princess last night? I've got to tell my girlfriends! They'll be so devastated!" _a voice from the audience cried out.

Law gritted his teeth, he _so_ needed a drink right now.

"Say, how about we make a wager? I shall challenge you to a battle, and whoever wins gets Law." Rin smiled.

"Oi, I'm not some trophy you get to win!" Law growled.

"Deal," Dei said without a moment's hesitation.

With that, Dei's hand began to glow a pearly white and her fingernails began to merge into twelve inch talons.

"Did you know I ate a Devil Fruit?" Dei then lunged forward preparing to strike at Rin.

And that was the seventh thing Law learned about Dei that day, she had a Devil Fruit.

"Did you know that I…" Rin paused for effect, as the onlooking crowd began to look at Rin in growing amazement. What ultra mega awesome super power did the older sister of Trafalgar Law possess?

"...can fight with a frying pan?!"

Seemingly pulling it of nowhere, the Marine Captain now brandished a frying pan at Dei.

Everyone simultaneously sweat-dropped. A frying pan? Seriously? That was the ultra mega awesome super power? Dei was taken by so much surprised, even she paused.

Taking that moment as an advantage, Rin dashed forward and smacked Dei across the face with the frying pan, sending her flying and effectively knocking the princess out cold, and thus Law was saved from the annoying girl.

The crowd soon dispersed not long after Dei was smashed in the face, dubbing the fight as the "Shortest and Lamest Fight Ever."

Law and Rin began to walk towards his submarine, ignoring Dei's unconscious body that was being dragged away by little kids that thought she was a lifesize doll.

"I didn't need your help, you know, I could've handled it just fine," Law huffed, letting his older sister see his more childish side.

"Aw, I know baby brother! But what kind of older sister would I be if I didn't protect my brother from crazy girls atleast once?" Rin grinned as she grabbed Law's neck with the crook of her elbow and proceeded to give him a noogie.

Law snarled as he tried to desperately to wrench out of his sister's grip. She finally let go and once again flashed Law a shit-eating grin.

"You messed up my hair!" Law whined and proceeded to smooth it out, no longer keeping up his cool, level-headed exterior.

Rin smiled fondly at her younger brother, seeing him act so childish was so rare.

"Well, it was nice sticking around brother but I gotta go," Rin puffed up her chest and stood in a heroic stance and whispered dramatically, "The city needs me."

"Alright, take it easy, Batman," Law said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Rin stuck out her tongue in response. Honestly, sometimes Law wondered how Rin ended up being the older, "mature" one.

"I'll see you around, Rin, stay out of trouble," Law smirked and turned on his heels walking toward his submarine.

"Oi! I'm suppose to be telling _you _that, brat!" Rin called after him, Law responded with a two finger salute toward his older sister.

Before Rin could move, out of nowhere, Marines soldiers began to run towards her.

"We found "The Surgeon of Death" Trafalgar Law. Thanks to Captain Rin!"

Law turned around and growled, first Dei and _now_ Marines, great.

However, Rin suddenly clutched her sides and rolled onto the ground, groaning in pain, as she looked up at Law winking, he gave her a curt nod with a ghost of a smile in return and proceeded to walk to his submarine.

"Ugh I'm on my period! Son of a bitch!" Rin groaned dramatically.

"Oh no! Captain's cramps are kicking in again and she's started her menstrual cycle!"

"Quick! Get her some sake and chocolate!"

"...wait what?"

"Sake?"

"Just do it! It worked last time!"

All at once the Marines scrambled everywhere looking for the cure.

"We need to buy her some tampons or pads!" a Marine yelled.

"No way! I'm not buying that girly shit!" another Marine yelled back, but after a moment's hesitation, "Okay! Fine! But you assholes owe me!"

"Hurry! I think it's leaking!" Rin coughed stifling her snickers, and trying her hardest not to laugh uncontrollably from her fetal position on the ground.

Honestly, Marine soldiers were so gullible sometimes.

* * *

From the submarine, Law shook his head and chuckled to himself, observing the unfolding scene from his window. How he managed to pull through his sister's pain in the ass antics, he did not know, but he was grateful, he could always count on his sister to pull him out of sticky situations.

"Hey! Captain! Where were you this morning?"

And just like that, Law's was rudely pulled out of his musings, by no other than, the ones who got him into the mess, Shachi and Penguin.

"Did'ya have fun captain? Did you get laid? Huh?"

Law glared at his crewmates.

"Never. Again."

With that, Law stalked to his bedroom and loudly slammed the door shut, leaving Shachi and Penguin to ponder why their captain was brooding even more than usual.

* * *

The End


End file.
